Don't look for anything like that handspring. I couldn't do that even when I was her age. But sometimes I feel like I need to do something extra splashy and unique and crazy, and I'm running out of ideas.
I had an old boss with a rather odd sense of humor. When I felt like he was piling too much work on me and never being satisfied, I'd grumble, "Geeez, what do you want from me?" And he'd answer, "I want you to stand on your head and whistle the Swedish national anthem." (How he even conceived of something that weird, I have no idea. But yeah, that wasn't happening any time soon.)
Yes, I'm grumpy. Yes, this is one of Erica's "Where is everyone?" posts. Yes, I put too much weight on how people respond to my blog. It's my little corner of the bloggy world, which is ginormous and ever growing. One has to be interesting to keep an audience, which I strive to be. Sometimes, I think I am. Other times, not so much. This is one of those times.
I posted a video on here and on FetLife this week. Yes, it's a silly video, but I thought it was fun. Apparently, the folks on Fet thought so too -- so far, I've gotten 83 "loves" and 46 comments. Here? Meh. Lukewarm. If you look at the comment numbers after the posts, they look like they're substantial. But half of them are my replies.
I posted what I thought was an interesting topic yesterday, asking for thoughts and feelings. Almost no response.
Haven't been Chrossed in two weeks. Look, I know when I have an off week and my posts are blah and non-Chross-worthy. But I thought I had some really good stuff the past couple of weeks, including a song parody, which took time and thought. I put up pictures, I put up videos. But then someone with a Tumblr blog slaps up yet another bare ass photo, nothing else, and they get the hits. Sheesh, why bother?
So, are you guys bored with my scene posts? Tired of the videos? Yawning at the pictures? I keep trying to come up with new stuff, but honestly, over the years, we've discussed every topic there is in the spanking world. I'm already reposting old stories, because I just don't have that many new ones anymore. Do I need to go in a different direction? Or is this just the way it is -- there are way too damn many blogs, we've all become redundant, and no one has the time or the attention span to give any of them proper focus?
Yeah, it's nice to get the accolades on FetLife. But honestly, I have much more of a personal investment here. I feel more of a bond in the blogosphere. The appreciation and notice here have a greater value.
First world problems, I know. I'm just blowing off some frustration here. I don't expect anyone will take this seriously, and they shouldn't. I'm just struggling to re-find my footing and my place here. This silly little blog is a piece of my identity.
Enough. Heading for my sweetie's later. Seeing Steve on Tuesday instead of Monday; I need Monday for gym and errands and so forth, because Tuesday I won't have a car. If I'm going to be stuck at home, might as well have some fun, huh? I need new shocks. $$$, on top of the root canal $$$. No wonder I'm grumpy.
Have a good holiday weekend, y'all.